Catholics Today

In today's church bulletin the faithful will note the following:

1. Mr. Newt Gingrich, thrice married, who calls politics "war by other means," who had affair with a young employee while married to wife no. 2 and while working to impeach Bill Clinton for the Lewinsky affair, became, on Saturday, 28 March, 2009 a member of the Roman Catholic Church. He apparently did this because wife no. 3 (the above mentioned desk jockey) is Catholic and sings in some choir in Washington, D.C. Conversion makes Newt's life more rounded somehow. Who is the idiot-priest responsible for this travesty?

Can you picture fat Newt kneeling in a pew and making the sign of the cross? I can, just, and it makes me think of some cartoon elephant trying to swing on a trapeze as an audience watches in horror. Hello to Newt and goodbye to one more shard of respectability in Ratzinger's pathetic contemporary church.

2. Days before his conversion ceremony Newt attacked the administration at Notre Dame for inviting President Obama to speak at this year's commencement. The President has "anti-Catholic values," that is to say, he thinks abortion should be legal and safe for those who chose it and that stem cell research can proceed with federal funding. Get ready for future gaseous Newtonian emissions to have a patina of Catholic imprimatur about them (he will claim this as a new Defender of the Faith). As a life-long Catholic I ask again, who is the idiot-priest responsible for this travesty?